How to Squirt During Sex: Understanding Female Ejaculation and the Path to This Intense Experience

Somewhere between myth and medical mystery lies one of sexuality's most debated phenomena. Female ejaculation—commonly called squirting—has sparked countless bedroom conversations, scientific studies, and more than a few laundry loads. Yet despite centuries of documentation (yes, ancient texts mention it), many still wonder if it's real, achievable, or just something that happens in adult films with suspicious camera angles.

Let me settle this right off the bat: it's real. The Skene's glands, those tiny structures near the urethra, can produce fluid during intense arousal. But here's what nobody tells you—achieving this isn't about following some magical formula or pressing the right buttons like you're trying to unlock a video game achievement.

The Anatomy Behind the Mystery

Understanding what's actually happening down there changes everything. Those Skene's glands I mentioned? They're basically the female equivalent of the prostate. When stimulated through the vaginal wall (particularly that textured area about two inches in that everyone calls the G-spot), they can swell and eventually release fluid.

Now, I've spent years reading medical journals and talking to gynecologists about this, and here's what struck me: the amount of misinformation out there is staggering. Some people think squirting is just peeing. Others believe every woman can do it if she just tries hard enough. Both ideas miss the mark entirely.

The fluid itself? It's not urine, though it might contain trace amounts. Laboratory analysis shows it's primarily prostatic-specific antigen and prostatic acid phosphatase—the same compounds found in male ejaculate, minus the sperm. The volume can range from a teaspoon to... well, let's just say you might want to put down a towel.

Mental Blocks and Bedroom Realities

Here's something I learned the hard way: the biggest obstacle to squirting isn't physical—it's mental. That sensation right before it happens? It feels almost exactly like you need to pee. And unless you're comfortable with that feeling, your body's natural response is to clench up and stop everything.

I remember talking to a friend who'd been trying to squirt for months. She'd read every article, bought special toys, tried every position. Nothing worked. Then one night, after a few glasses of wine and zero expectations, it happened. Why? Because she finally stopped trying to control everything.

The pressure to perform—whether self-imposed or from a partner—creates the exact opposite conditions needed for this to happen. Your pelvic floor muscles need to be relaxed, not tensed up like you're doing Kegels for the Olympics.

Practical Approaches That Actually Matter

Forget the complicated techniques you've seen online. The foundation is simpler than most people realize. First, empty your bladder beforehand. Not because squirting is urination, but because you'll be more psychologically comfortable letting go.

Arousal levels matter more than any specific technique. I'm talking about the kind of turned-on where you've forgotten what day it is. This isn't something you rush into five minutes after putting the kids to bed. Your body needs time to build that internal pressure.

Position-wise, being on your back with hips elevated slightly (pillow under your butt works great) gives the best angle for G-spot stimulation. But honestly? I've known women who first experienced this standing in the shower, sitting on top, or in positions that would make yoga instructors wince.

The stimulation itself usually involves firm, consistent pressure on the G-spot with a "come hither" motion. But—and this is crucial—what works varies wildly between individuals. Some need rapid movement, others prefer slow, deep pressure. Some find it happens more easily with toys, particularly curved ones designed for G-spot play.

When Your Body Surprises You

Sometimes squirting happens when you least expect it. A woman I interviewed for research told me she first squirted during oral sex—no penetration at all. Another said it only happens when she uses a vibrator on her clitoris while her partner stimulates her G-spot. The point? There's no single path to this destination.

What's consistent is the sensation progression: intense arousal, a feeling of fullness or pressure, the urge to pee, and then—if you can relax through that last part—release. Some women describe it as an intense orgasm, others say it's completely separate from climax. Both experiences are valid.

One thing that doesn't get discussed enough: not everyone's anatomy is set up for this. Some women have more developed Skene's glands, others have less. It's like how some people can roll their tongues and others can't. No amount of practice will change your basic anatomy.

Partner Dynamics and Communication

If you're exploring this with a partner, communication becomes everything. They need to understand that goal-oriented sex is the enemy of squirting. The moment it becomes about "making" you squirt rather than mutual pleasure, you might as well give up and watch Netflix instead.

Good partners understand that this might not happen, and that's perfectly fine. They're attentive to your responses, adjusting pressure and speed based on your feedback, not some tutorial they watched online. They also understand that if it does happen, it's messy. Like, really messy. If they're squeamish about bodily fluids, this might not be their thing.

I've noticed something interesting over the years: couples who successfully explore this together tend to have better sexual communication overall. Maybe it's because achieving this requires such honesty about what feels good, what doesn't, and being vulnerable enough to literally let go.

The Aftermath No One Mentions

So let's say it happens. Congratulations! Now what? First, you might feel like you ran a marathon. The muscle contractions involved can be intense, leaving you shaky and exhausted. This is normal. So is feeling emotionally vulnerable—something about the experience can bring up unexpected feelings.

Practically speaking, you'll need to deal with cleanup. Waterproof mattress protectors are your friend. So are dark-colored towels. Some couples keep a designated "sex blanket" that goes straight in the wash. Not sexy to think about, but neither is sleeping in a puddle.

You might also notice increased sensitivity afterward. Some women can squirt multiple times in one session, others are one-and-done. Your urethra might feel a bit tender the next day, especially if there was vigorous stimulation involved. Again, totally normal.

Beyond the Hype

Here's my potentially controversial take: squirting has become weirdly fetishized in our culture. It's treated like some ultimate sexual achievement, proof that you're a "real" woman or that your partner is some kind of bedroom deity. This is nonsense.

Plenty of women have mind-blowing, deeply satisfying sex lives without ever squirting. It's not a measure of sexual prowess, libido, or how good your partner is. It's just one possible experience among many, no more or less valid than any other.

What matters is pleasure, connection, and exploring what feels good for your unique body. If squirting happens along the way, great. If not, that's equally great. The journey of sexual self-discovery shouldn't have a checklist.

Some women find that once they've squirted, it happens more easily in the future. Others might experience it once and never again. Both scenarios are completely normal. Your body isn't broken if you can't do it, and you're not a circus act if you can.

Final Thoughts on Letting Go

After all these years of research and conversations, what strikes me most is how squirting serves as a metaphor for female sexuality in general. It requires trust, relaxation, and the ability to let go of control. It can't be forced or faked (despite what porn might suggest). And everyone's experience with it is slightly different.

If you're curious about exploring this, approach it with playfulness rather than determination. Focus on what feels good rather than achieving a specific outcome. Communicate openly with your partner if you have one. And remember—the best sex happens when we stop trying to perform and start simply experiencing.

Whether you ever squirt or not, the real victory is becoming more connected to your body and its capacity for pleasure. That's an achievement worth celebrating, no towels required.

Authoritative Sources:

Salama, Samuel, et al. "Nature and Origin of 'Squirting' in Female Sexuality." The Journal of Sexual Medicine, vol. 12, no. 3, 2015, pp. 661-666.

Wimpissinger, Florian, et al. "The Female Prostate Revisited: Perineal Ultrasound and Biochemical Studies of Female Ejaculate." The Journal of Sexual Medicine, vol. 4, no. 5, 2007, pp. 1388-1393.

Zaviacic, Milan. The Human Female Prostate: From Vestigial Skene's Paraurethral Glands and Ducts to Woman's Functional Prostate. Slovak Academic Press, 1999.