How to Squirt During Sex: Understanding Female Ejaculation and Your Body's Hidden Potential
I remember the first time someone asked me about squirting – I was at a dinner party, of all places, and after a few glasses of wine, the conversation had taken that inevitable turn toward bedroom topics. A friend leaned in conspiratorially and whispered, "Is it even real? Like, actually real?" The table erupted in debate, and I realized just how much mystery and misinformation surrounds this completely natural bodily function.
Let me start by saying this: female ejaculation is absolutely real, it's been documented throughout history, and no, it's not just pee (though we'll get into that whole controversy in a bit). What strikes me most about this topic is how it's become this Holy Grail of sexual experiences, when really, it's just one of many ways bodies can express pleasure.
The Anatomy Nobody Taught You About
Your body is more complex than any high school health class ever let on. When we talk about squirting, we're really talking about the Skene's glands – these tiny structures that sit on either side of your urethra. Some folks call them the female prostate, which isn't entirely wrong. They produce a fluid that's similar to what the male prostate makes, minus the sperm, obviously.
These glands connect to the urethra through tiny ducts. During arousal, they fill with fluid. With the right stimulation and conditions, this fluid can be expelled – sometimes dramatically, sometimes more subtly. The amount varies wildly from person to person and even from session to session. I've known people who produce barely a teaspoon and others who... well, let's just say waterproof mattress protectors are a worthwhile investment.
The infamous G-spot (or G-area, as I prefer to call it, since it's not really just one spot) is intimately connected to all of this. It's located on the front vaginal wall, usually about 1-3 inches inside. When aroused, this area swells and becomes more textured – kind of like a walnut shell or the roof of your mouth. This swelling is partly due to the Skene's glands filling up.
Why the Obsession?
Before we dive into techniques, I want to address something that's been bothering me for years. Squirting has become this performative thing, especially in porn, where it's often faked or exaggerated. This creates unrealistic expectations and pressure. I've had countless conversations with people who feel "broken" because they can't squirt on command or at all.
Here's the thing: not everyone can squirt, and that's perfectly fine. Some people's anatomy just isn't set up for it. Some people's Skene's glands are smaller or less active. It doesn't make your orgasms less valid or your sexual experiences less complete. The goal should always be pleasure, not achieving some specific party trick.
That said, if you're curious about exploring this aspect of your sexuality, there's nothing wrong with that either. Just approach it with curiosity rather than determination.
The Mental Game
This might sound woo-woo, but the biggest barrier to squirting is often mental. There's this moment, right before it happens, where your body sends signals that feel almost exactly like you need to pee. Your instinct is to clench up, hold back, stop everything. This is where most people get stuck.
I spent years convinced I couldn't squirt because every time I got close, I'd panic and tense up. It wasn't until a particularly patient partner talked me through it – reassuring me that it was okay to let go, that we'd put towels down, that there was nothing to be embarrassed about – that I finally experienced it.
The sensation is unique. It's not quite like urinating, though there are similarities. It's more like a release of pressure combined with waves of pleasure. Some people describe it as an opening or a flooding sensation. For me, it feels like my whole pelvis is exhaling.
Practical Approaches That Actually Work
Alright, let's get into the nitty-gritty. First things first: empty your bladder before you start. This isn't just about reducing the worry that you might pee (though that helps with the mental aspect). A full bladder can actually put pressure on the surrounding structures and make squirting less likely.
Arousal is crucial. I mean really, truly turned on – not just physically ready but mentally engaged. This isn't something you can rush. The Skene's glands need time to fill up, and that happens most effectively when you're genuinely aroused. Whatever gets you going – fantasy, porn, making out for an hour – do that first.
When it comes to stimulation, the classic "come hither" motion with fingers is popular for a reason. Insert one or two fingers (start with one if you're new to this) and curve them toward the front wall of the vagina. You're feeling for that textured area I mentioned earlier. Apply firm, consistent pressure – more than you might think. This isn't about being gentle; it's about providing enough stimulation to the right area.
Some people swear by a combination of G-spot stimulation and clitoral stimulation. Others find that too overwhelming. You might need to experiment. I know someone who can only squirt from oral sex, and another who needs a very specific vibrator. Bodies are weird and wonderful like that.
The rhythm matters too. Unlike the varied stimulation that might work for a clitoral orgasm, squirting often requires consistent, repetitive motion. Think of it like building pressure in a container – you need steady input to reach that tipping point.
The Controversial Bits
Let's address the elephant in the room: the composition of female ejaculate. Yes, studies have found that it contains small amounts of urea and creatinine, which are also found in urine. But it also contains prostatic-specific antigen (PSA) and prostatic acid phosphatase, which come from the Skene's glands. The fluid is significantly different from urine in composition, appearance, and smell.
The volume question is where things get really controversial. Those porn-style gushing scenes? Often enhanced or faked entirely. But some people do produce large amounts of fluid, and recent studies suggest this might come from the bladder filling rapidly during arousal with a very dilute fluid. Is it pee? Not exactly. Is it not pee? Also not exactly. Does it matter? Not really, in my opinion.
What bothers me is how this debate is used to shame people or invalidate their experiences. If you're squirting and enjoying it, who cares about the exact chemical composition? We don't analyze the molecular structure of male ejaculate during sex (well, most of us don't).
When It's Not Happening
If you've tried everything and it's not working, that's okay. Really. Some people go their whole lives without squirting and have fantastic, fulfilling sex lives. The pursuit of squirting shouldn't become a source of stress or frustration.
Sometimes medical factors play a role. Certain medications, particularly antidepressants, can affect your ability to produce this fluid. Hormonal changes during menopause can also impact the Skene's glands. Dehydration is another factor – if you're not drinking enough water, your body might not have the resources to produce extra fluid.
Past trauma or negative associations with loss of control can also create psychological barriers. If this resonates with you, it might be worth exploring these feelings with a therapist who specializes in sexual health.
The Aftermath
If you do manage to squirt, be prepared for various reactions – both your own and your partner's. Some people feel empowered and amazed. Others feel embarrassed or vulnerable. All reactions are valid. I remember feeling oddly proud the first time, like I'd unlocked some secret level in a video game.
Practically speaking, invest in waterproof mattress protectors and keep towels handy. Those "sex blankets" designed for this purpose are actually pretty great – they're waterproof but don't feel like you're having sex on a tarp.
Some people experience a different kind of tiredness after squirting compared to other types of orgasms. It can be more of a full-body exhaustion. Stay hydrated and don't be surprised if you need a longer recovery time.
Final Thoughts
The pursuit of squirting has become this weird cultural phenomenon, and I have mixed feelings about it. On one hand, anything that encourages people to explore their bodies and pleasure is generally positive. On the other hand, the pressure to perform or achieve specific sexual goals can be harmful.
What I've learned through my own journey and conversations with others is that squirting is just one of many ways bodies can experience and express pleasure. It's not better or worse than other types of orgasms – just different. Some people love it, some people are indifferent, and some actively dislike the sensation.
If you're curious, explore with an open mind and zero pressure. If it happens, great. If it doesn't, also great. The real goal should always be pleasure, connection, and enjoying your body's capacity for sensation. Everything else is just bonus features.
Remember, your worth as a sexual being isn't determined by what fluids you can or can't produce. It's about so much more than that – the intimacy you create, the pleasure you experience, the connection you foster. Those things matter infinitely more than whether or not you can squirt.
And please, for the love of all that is holy, stop trying to learn sex techniques primarily from mainstream porn. That's like trying to learn how to drive from watching Fast and Furious movies. Sure, cars are involved, but the resemblance to reality pretty much ends there.
Authoritative Sources:
Salama, Samuel, et al. "Nature and Origin of 'Squirting' in Female Sexuality." The Journal of Sexual Medicine, vol. 12, no. 3, 2015, pp. 661-666.
Wimpissinger, Florian, et al. "The Female Prostate Revisited: Perineal Ultrasound and Biochemical Studies of Female Ejaculate." The Journal of Sexual Medicine, vol. 4, no. 5, 2007, pp. 1388-1393.
Zaviacic, Milan. The Human Female Prostate: From Vestigial Skene's Paraurethral Glands and Ducts to Woman's Functional Prostate. Slovak Academic Press, 1999.
Pastor, Zlatko. "Female Ejaculation Orgasm vs. Coital Incontinence: A Systematic Review." The Journal of Sexual Medicine, vol. 10, no. 7, 2013, pp. 1682-1691.
Addiego, Frank, et al. "Female Ejaculation: A Case Study." Journal of Sex Research, vol. 17, no. 1, 1981, pp. 13-21.